As a child, I remember thinking of ways to make Mother's Day special for my mom. Typically, this consisted of attempting to make creative meals, which typically turned to slop, or making a homemade card. My mother always seemed so happy with the gestures, and I assumed that each and every Mother's Day was the BEST day of her life.........
And then................I became a Mother........
I quickly learned that Mother's Day is about survival, not glory. It's just a day, exactly like any other day. Well, not EXACTLY. On Mother's Day, there is an expectation that THIS day will be special: that mother's will feel cherished (revered even!), that the day will be more relaxing, easier somehow, that the world will bow to "Mothers Everywhere." There will be no need to discipline on this, most special day, because children everywhere will behave exactly as they are supposed to and spouses, if there is a spouse, will be as attentive and perfect as the children.
Well.......that's the expectation, anyway, right? Queen for a Day!
So, I began to hate Mother's Day. Not because I dislike being a mom in any way. I simply dislike the expectation that this day should be different from all other days. Every Mother's Day I would wake up, work just as hard, and go to bed just as tired, somehow feeling cheated out of a vague "special day" floating just beyond my reach.
Until this Mother's Day, anyway........
This Mother's Day, I learned a few lessons that have forced me to change my attitude about the day from one of survival to, dare I say it, joy.
Lesson #1: If your own child doesn't wake you up early, someone else's will. One of the Mother's Day Myths is that Mom gets to sleep in, right? So I tried to give that gift to myself, playing hard with Travis on Saturday and letting him stay up just a little late in hopes of not opening my eyes until at least 8:00 a.m. At precisely 7:15 I hear pounding on my front door. Grrr.........the neighbor child, age 6, is knocking to ask if Travis can play. I politely informed her it was too early to play and told her she should go wake her own Mommy up. Yup, that's me.........spreading Mother's Day joy. So, I crawl back in bed and just as I was drifting off, I hear........."Good Mornin, Mommy!!!" Guess what.............it was the sweetest voice ever and I was thrilled to hear it!
Lesson #2: Your child's gifts are precious, even if they want to keep them for themselves. Travis' wonderful teacher, Mrs. Fechik, worked with the children to make a beautiful, framed hand print and poem as a gift for all of her students' mothers. Usually, Travis doesn't want to wait to have me open any gift, but this year we managed to wait until Mother's Day. He, of course, unwrapped it and then quickly took it to his room and placed it proudly on his dresser. He gave me a sweet look, grabbed a piece of paper, traced his hand and said, "Here you go, Mom. You can have this one." It is now proudly displayed on my refrigerator.
Lesson #3: Mother's Day is what the Mom makes of it. Travis is a little young for the whole "Breakfast in Bed" phenomenon that seems to define Mother's Day. So I decided that I would take us both out for breakfast. Ummm.......hello......it's MOTHER'S DAY!!! Everything is jam packed. So there we are in the McDonald's drive through, picking up some Egg McMuffins, and I'm thinking........"Swell....McDonalds on Mother's Day." But you know what?? We took that to a little park that we rarely go to and ate in the beautiful morning sunshine. Afterwards, we plucked the dandelion tops off as many stems as we could and then buried our "gold" in the playground sand. Travis made sure to mark the spot with an "X" before we left, so that when we go back we can find our treasure. In the end, I'll take the memory of burying treasure and spinning on the merry-go-round until we're dizzy over having breakfast in some boring restaurant!
Lesson #4: Mother's Day is REALLY about the kids. And what mother would want it any other way??? After the park, I met up with a fellow mom and her three kids and we proceeded to play at a water park for the rest of the day. The kids had so much fun.........and Travis running to me multiple times throughout the day to throw his arms around me and shout, "I love you Mommy" was exactly what I realized I need. I don't need a break, or to be waited on, or even to have some fabulous gift. Making my little guy happy and seeing his joy was more than enough.
So this year, I did more than just survive Mother's Day.......I enjoyed every moment of it, understanding that reality can be way better than expectations, especially when you have a sense of humor!
Happy Mother's Day, everyone!!!!!!!
